Puella Magi Kazuko Magica
by Abicion
Summary: My Junko Iwao obsession cannot be stopped.


Junko Kaname politely rose from her seat and exited the bar. Kazuko Saotome remained on the adjacent stool, stirring the single ice cube in the wine glass in front of her out of boredom. She kept to herself until a new visitor came into the room and jumped on top of the counter beside her. It was a small, white creature with a bushy tail and long, hanging ears; some odd combination of a cat, a rabbit, and a ferret. Kazuko reacted with no surprise toward this sight. Her gaze shifted only slightly toward the strange being when she spoke.

"Hey, Kyubey."

He was there for his usual daily surveillance, no doubt, making sure she wasn't doing anything counterproductive to his goals. Kazuko had originally found these visits to be intrusive, but learned to stop caring about them long ago. All she could think about in his presence was how much she wanted a killer robot to suddenly appear and impale the ugly rat on a sharpened piece of metal. She couldn't figure out how she had ever come up with such an exact cause of death, but the idea always lingered in her mind like a violent memory from a previous life.

Kazuko's expression turned to a concerned frown when she spoke again.

"You know something about Sayaka and that missing 9th grader, don't you?"

Kyubey tilted his head curiously, causing his ears to gently flop. His voice was child-like, albeit monotonous.

"How specific do you want me to get?"

Kazuko's empty hand clenched into a fist before she sighed sadly. Aside from this, her reaction remained surprisingly calm. It wasn't that she didn't care for her students. The problem was she was so familiar with hearing how one of her younger peers had met their untimely end that she had nearly become desensitized to it. Fighting Witches was a tough line of work.

"Nevermind. You've said enough."

She knew she could never go public with this information. How was a random school teacher supposed to explain several deaths had occurred as a result of a pixie-like being from another world giving the victims magical powers, while not being mistaken for a mental patient or putting the other heroines in even more danger? The whole issue was a can of worms best left sealed.

Kazuko continued to stare at the lonely ice cube in her glass as her thoughts wandered to the next thing on her mind.

"So, is Homura really going to take Walpurgisnacht on by herself?"

Kyubey replied bluntly, in his usual emotionless character.

"At this point, it seems that way."

Kazuko adjusted her glasses before she closed her eyes in thought. As she continued to meditate, a ring suddenly materialized on her left middle finger, and a small, white mark appeared on the nail of the same digit. These were the most obvious proof of her cursed state, and she had grown wise enough over the years to know how to hide them entirely. The ring then flickered to life before transforming into a small, egg-shaped ornament in her palm. It was made of glass that gave off a distinct white glow, encased in a golden frame. On its rounded top sat a tiny sculpture of a unicorn's head, giving the entire object the appearance of a highly decorative Knight piece.

Kazuko opened her eyes again to study the magical item. It was a precious thing, holding what remained of her once optimistic soul. She thought out loud with doubt in her voice.

"Maybe I should give her a hand..."

Kyubey's response came quickly and nonchalantly.

"If you're still insistent on staying in your current form, I recommend you don't try that. Even though you've kept your Soul Gem pure for all these years, your body's physical age is still a major variable. The fact you're already becoming bitter toward the male members of your race after all your failed relationships doesn't help, either. Mathematically speaking, the gem would probably become overburdened and you'd turn into a Witch the moment you transformed."

Kazuko turned her head to the unusual creature as she blinked in surprise. Something about his character seemed off this evening.

"Why would you tell me that? Aren't you just waiting for me to turn into one?"

The beast's expression and voice remained unchanged when he replied.

"It's true, but there are other factors involved. The longer you delay the inevitable, Kazuko, the more spectacular your rebirth will be. The apprehension you have toward your destiny actually helps combat entropy."

Kazuko puffed her cheeks as she exhaled in disappointment. The Soul Gem disappeared from her hand as she muttered in resentment.

"Typical. You'll just tell me whatever gets you the best results."

Kyubey waved his tail contently as he replied in a casual manner.

"Isn't it obvious? You know I'm trying to maximize my quota."

Kazuko squeezed her eyes shut as she was stung by these words. In the end, she was just a battery storing universal energy. A very lonely battery. Her voice weakened when she conveyed her next words.

"This is all your fault."

Kyubey tilted his head again, pointing the tops of his ears upward.

"You mean Walpurgisnacht? I have no control over such things."

Kazuko slowly shook her head in disinterest before speaking again.

"No, I mean all of this. I spend night after night at this bar by myself. The only reason Junko was here was to talk about the missing students and some problems she's having with Madoka. I haven't been able to date a guy for longer than a few months since you did this to me."

Kyubey's interest in her plight seemed to grow slightly when he questioned her.

"Well, it was your wish to be a beloved teacher, wasn't it?"

Kazuko allowed her head to sink further downward as she shifted the blame from Kyubey to herself.

"Yeah, but I wasn't expecting to become an old spinster in the process."

The creature's red eyes blinked once when he corrected her.

"You never specified that. I only gave you the opportunity you wanted."

He then stretched across the counter before continuing.

"If it's any help, your hypothesis of your relationship problems being tied to your wish seems to be valid. Staying single has allowed you to focus more on your students, has it not?"

Kazuko grit her teeth in rage as she turned her head away. She had seemingly doomed herself to forever be the ideal academic figure: Female and single. She could only quietly growl toward her unearthly master.

"Stereotyping little bastard."

Kyubey seemed untouched by the aged Magical Girl's anger. He climbed back to his four legs and waved his tail before speaking.

"Well, I have to go. I have a few more stops to make. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck."

Kazuko perked one of her eyebrows in confusion. She questioned Kyubey's words in a similar manner.

"For what? Finding a boyfriend, or becoming a Witch?"

His soulless eyes stared directly into hers when he replied.

"Both."

Without saying another word, he hopped down from the counter and walked out of the room. Kazuko simply shook her head in disgust before returning to her drink.


End file.
